Feeling the void

Many years ago, a wise family practice mentor said to me “One of the nice things about being a physician for many years is that my patients have grown old with me. Unfortunately that means I am losing more of them.” Those words came back to me recently after the loss of my third male patient in six months, all close to my age. Two of them, avoidable deaths but work and inflammation came before healthy habits and lifestyle changes. The third was from a quick and devastating disease that was not avoidable.

The wife of the third man came in for a visit yesterday. We talked a little bit about his disease and its quick progression. She talked about the usual things–their 30 year marriage, children, hopes for grandkids. I told her that I would miss him after our many year patient-doctor relationship. I hesitated, then shared with her that it had been a rough year with patient losses and that he was one of three men that died much too young–at 70 he had been the oldest. She looked at me and said “then you feel the void.”

Obviously, not the same way that she does, but indeed, I feel the void.

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